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April 03, 2003
The Impending Birthday
There's half year that my 30th birthday will come, it seems that I start a real life. I must DO sth, I mean, to be push-and-go and hard work makes me happy. Do I still confused by the past? I'm not sure but I can endure more than b4. GG gave me some kind of feeling out of ordinary life, and now I have to go alone. Hope I could smile then.
Long time ago I imaged the couple in love could share everything and still keep solitary condition, no suspiciousness and hurts, no promises and future, no dream and no past... My 20th birthday's gift was a mahogany pipe, she said maybe it were not me together with you in your 30th birthday, but you would miss me then.
I dont wanna call myself a loser, 'cause I never insisted on anything. When I do wanna hold on, everything is changed. I'm getting older during the cause of understanding myself gradually. When I was young, I thought I was smarter than anybody...two or three years ago, I thought I was as stupid as everybody...And now I find out I am not choosed but I can do better.
Posted by sunsethouse at April 3, 2003 01:02 AM
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